How To Free Yourself From Fear of Judgement

You won’t find any video’s of kids apologizing for their horrific dance moves.
All you’ll see are naked souls set free by music. Souls that don’t yet know enough to be self-conscious. 

Souls that haven’t learned to fear judgement. But then, something tragic happens. At some point we become ashamed of the nakedness of our souls and so we start to cover them up. At some point we become afraid of judgemental eyes, furtive whispers, and hostile snickers.
At some point, we lose the ability to be free in ourselves because the fear of being un-liked, unwanted, unattractive, or unworthy is too great to overcome.

We learn the rules of engagement for socialization and we start to judge and accept judgement from others.
Negative judgement is a death sentence to our self-esteem.
Better to be invisible than judged negatively by our peers.
You foster this fear every time you say ‘no’ when you really want to say ‘yes,’ because you don’t want to look like an idiot/a crazy person/silly/etc.
You nourish this fear by hiding who you are to avoid embarrassment. If you’re like most people you want to be able to walk around without fearing judgement. You want to ‘not care’ what people think, but you just can’t seem to bring yourself to do it.
You don’t feel brave enough.You believe you just weren’t blessed with that kind of DNA.

You think you aren’t that courageous. It’s hard to believe, but you don’t need to be born audacious to stop fearing judgement.
You don’t need to be exceptionally brave and courageous. You just need to make a few small changes in how you see the world and how you interact with others in it. If you want to stop enabling the fear of judgement living inside of you, read on because this article is just what the doctor ordered. 

Judgements Say More About The Judge Than What’s Being Judged.
We don’t see things as they are.
We see things as we are. – Anais Nin It’s never about you. I repeat: It’s never about you. Whatever judgement is being passed on you has nothing to do with you and everything to do with the judges opinion about what you should be like. For example, think of the craziest most out-there outfit you’ve ever seen.
The kind of outfit that makes you stare and think ‘wtf is wrong with that person?!’ Now consider for a moment that there are people in the world who think it’s the most attractive getup possible. It’s a fashion phenomenon. It’s wildly fabulous! Your judgement has nothing to do with the individual you’re judging and everything to do with how you think that person should dress.
You might not know exactly what they should be wearing, but in that moment, you know what they shouldn’t be wearing.
This is exactly what happens when others judge you.When you succumb to judgement you’re saying that the judges opinion of you has more value than who you are as an individual.That is not a healthy message to be sending to your subconscious and self-esteem.

Every time you judge someone else you perpetuate the cycle of judgement.
Consider the example above. If you judge someone’s clothing, you’re going to expect others to be judging your clothing as well.
The best way to show how true this is, is for me to ask you if you commonly judge the state of someone’s metatarsal flexibility in their foot.
I’m going to assume that you don’t.
Now ask yourself if you’ve ever been afraid of the state of your metatarsal flexibility being judged. No? If we went and asked a ballerina if they commonly judge metatarsal flexibility in their peers, they’d probably say yes.Having a flexible foot is part of having good feet for ballet. It’s something they judge on their peers and, in turn, will fear judgement on. You’re only afraid of being judged on the things you find yourself judging others on.

The less you judge others, the less you’ll expect to be judged by others and the freer you’ll feel.
The Difference Between Moral Judgement and Character Judgement The principles above apply to all kinds of judgement. They apply to judging someone’s cultural beliefs and ‘norms’ as well as judging someone’s morality and ethical behavior.
While abstaining judging someone’s personal character can lead you peace, abstaining from making judgements on morals is irresponsible and cowardly.
You are no such coward. You allow people the freedom to be individuals, but you don’t allow people the freedom to do what they want regardless of the consequences to other’s. It’s within your right (and obligation), to judge stealing as wrong. If you wanted to feel better about stealing yourself, you could refrain from judging, but that doesn’t make your actions any less wrong as well.

Replace judgement with curiosity.
So if you’re going to stop judging people, what are you going to do when you see something out of the ordinary? Do you block the thought? Hit yourself in the face so you can’t think about it? Walk away calmly but quickly? The best way to eliminate a habit is to replace the bad habit with a better habit. I suggest replacing judgement with curiosity.

The moment I started doing this, the moment I started choosing acceptance over rejection, is the moment I began to feel like I was free to be me. If you think about it, what’s normal to you is really just what’s commonplace. It’s what’s expected, predictable, boring.
When you see something ‘abnormal’ or uncommon, you judge because it doesn’t fit into your view of the world.

The best way to stop judging is to make it less ‘foreign’ so it can fit into your world view.
The only way to do that is to learn about it, and the only way to learn is to be curious.
So next time you see someone sporting a live chicken on their head for a hat, don’t stop your thought process at ‘that’s weird.’
Continue on and marvel at how strange and new that is to you.
Think about how interesting the reason behind the chicken hat must be, and vow to find out what kind of cultural norm this is.
Learn about it, be curious, carve a space out in your world for this new information. Give space to other’s to be who they are, and you will receive ample space in return.

10 Simple Ways To Overcome Depression And Sadness

We’ve all been upset. Sadness is a totally natural emotional response to certain environmental stimuli.
Most of us have support, or systems in place to overcome sadness, reach balance, and go on to be happy as quickly as possible. 
There are two groups of people that have prolonged sadness, or depression. One group consists of those that have a severe chemical imbalance, which requires a doctor, and possibly medication to treat.

This article is not geared for that group. Rather, this is directed to the people in a funk or seem stuck in a rut, those that lack the tools, know-how, and support systems to bounce them back.
In my opinion, and I’m no doctor (BA, Psychology; MS, Biomedical Science), the latter group of people are wise to seek natural treatments instead of simply medicating the symptoms.
That’s why we’re going to look at 10 ways to overcome sadness, without the happy pills.

*Set Goals.
Something special happens the moment the paper meets the pen and we write down our goals. Our brain chemistry changes, neurons fire, hormones are deployed, and we start thinking about how we can achieve those goals.

*Sleep.
Getting the right amount of sleep is healthy for our body and mind. Some argue that sleep deprivation treats depression, but I don’t buy it. I think it’s a cheap distraction that catches up to you within days.

* Get enough rest.
  Exercise If you’re physically capable, try one hour of cardio (or as much as you can). If you’re tee-shirt is soaking wet, you’re standing in a puddle of your own sweat, and you can feel the endorphins pumping through your body, you did it right. Shower up and try not being happy, I dare you. 

*Forgiveness.
Many times we’re making ourselves sad for no good reason at all. People have been known to keep grudges for lifetimes (most religions and nationalities keep them for generations). When you forgive, you remove this weight off your shoulders and put yourself in a position to be happier. 

*Gratitude.
Many times when we complain we can cause ourselves to be sad. Complaining is just a factor of not taking into account what we’re grateful for. Sit down and make a list of 100 things you’re grateful for right now (and I dare you not to feel better). 

*Sunlight.
Certain people have a disorder, in which, due to a lack of sunlight, they experience seasonal sadness. I’m somewhat affected by this in the winter when the days are shorter. That’s why it pays to grab your iPod (or your friend) and go for 30 minute walks each day and embrace the sunlight. 

*Hydration.
This has always been my downfall; I don’t drink enough and chances are you don’t either. Some days I drink only 1 cup of water, and I feel horrible. When I remember, and drink 2-3 liters, I’m happy as a kitten on cat-nip, and productive as a bat out of hell. 

*Friendships.
Your life force, support system, and everything that matters. It’s not hard to make friends if you put the time in. Everyone wants to be heard, appreciated, and loved. Start off by listening, appreciating and loving, and it will come back your way. 

*Reading.
Take a temporary leave from reality and bury yourself in one of your favorite books. A lot of wise people have been through what you’re going through and they made it through to the other side to tell about it. 

*Journal.
This could be an escape but it doesn’t have to be. You can write about fiction, and transport yourself to another world, or you can write about what’s going on, and let your thoughts carry you through to a solution.
Many great books were written by people who were, at least at the time, going through a period of pain and suffering.  So what do you think? Could one or two of these get you through the rough patch you may be in today?

Turning Failure To Your Advantage

For a while our distributor funded us in the form of cash advances on our sales. But eventually, their parent company wanted those advances back. Although we didn’t officially go bankrupt, the distributor essentially foreclosed on us and took over all our assets.
This was a difficult time personally. I was confused, frustrated, and very angry. Initially, I blamed the distributor.

If they had only sold more, as they had promised us, none of this would have happened, I thought. It’s their fault. But eventually I looked in the mirror and had to acknowledge that I could not move on until I learned from this experience. Though incredibly difficult and humbling, I am now thankful for this period in my life.

I learned some critical, life-changing lessons.

10 Troubling Habits of Chronically Unhappy People.

Happiness comes in so many different forms that it can be hard to define.
Unhappiness, on the other hand, is easy to identify; you know it when you see it, and you definitely know when it’s taken ahold of you.
Unhappiness is lethal to everyone around you, just like second-hand smoke.

The famous Terman Study from Stanford followed subjects for eight decades and found that being around unhappy people is linked to poorer health and a shorter life span.
Happiness has much less to do with life circumstances than you might think.
A University of Illinois study found that people who earn the most (more than $10 million annually) are only a smidge happier than the average Joes and Janes who work for them. 

Life circumstances have little to do with happiness because much happiness is under your control—the product of your habits and your out look.
Psychologists from the University of California who study happiness found that genetics and life circumstances only account for about 50% of a person’s happiness.

Melancholic Temperament, Strength and Weakness

The melancholic person is but feebly excited by whatever acts upon him.
The reaction is weak, but this feeble impression remains for a long time and by subsequent similar impressions grows stronger and at last excites the mind so passionately that it is difficult to get rid of it.

Melancholic temperament is by far the richest, most creative, innovative and sensitive of the personality types.
Here some main traits you may use for indication and guidance.

1. Inclination to reflection. The thinking of the melancholic easily turns into reflection.
The thoughts of the melancholic are far reaching. He dwells with pleasure upon the past and is preoccupied by occurrences of the long ago; he is penetrating; is not satisfied with the superficial, searches for the cause and correlation of things; seeks the laws which affect human life, the principles according to which man should act.

80 Ways To Dramatically Improve Your Life And Be More Fulfilled.

Do you want to be more happier, fulfilled and awesome but just don’t know how to go about peeling off the unnecessary layers? You’re lucky, because I’ve put together a list of 80 ways you can improve your life. You don’t have to settle with what you’ve got.
The ones who told you that are liars.
Most people are afraid. They want to stop you from feeling the pain they feel because they never had the courage to do what they wanted in life.
Follow your heart and do what feels right for you, because that’s living. Everything else is dying.

1. Care If you want to be awesome, you have to care. Care about the people around you and even people you’ve never met. This is especially true if you’re blogging or a public figure. Care about your fans and they will care even more about you.

Top Signs Of Depression

Many people are depressed without realising it. Depression is certainly much more than just feeling sad. It’s not a disease that a person either has or doesn’t have. Like most mental conditions it exists on a continuum — in this case from mild to severe. Depression can last for weeks, months or even years.

10 signs of depression

In general people who are depressed often feel that life is hopeless, that their lives are worthless and they are out of control. Since the mind and body are so intimately connected, many of the symptoms are not purely mental. For a positive diagnosis, a person would be experiencing some of the following signs of depression almost every day.

1. Sadness, low mood and anxiety, or often a combination of these. It could include crying for no reason. In depression some combination of these negative feelings usually persists for at least a couple of weeks.

15 Small Things Most Successful People Do Every Day

There are certain people that come to your mind when you think about success. Perhaps they are people like Steve Jobs, Elon Musk, or Larry Page. Yet the frenzy around these people can be so noisy that you start getting bewildered on what it actually takes to achieve success. The truth is that what successful people do daily, the things that define them, are actually discreet and little actions. Here are fifteen small things successful people do every day.

1. They focus on being productive rather than being busy

According to Tim Ferris, the author of the The 4-Hour Workweek, “Slow down and remember this: Most things make no difference. Being busy is often a form of mental laziness – lazy thinking and indiscriminate action.”

2. They wake up early

Sergio Marchionne, the CEO of Fiat and Chrysler, wakes up as early as 3:30am to deal with the European market. Tim Cook, the CEO of Apple Inc., starts his day as early as 4:30am to send emails. Jeffrey Immelt, the CEO of General Electric, says he wakes up by 5:30am for his daily workout routine.

Show off your curves

Some of us have natural curves, and many times, I see my fellow curvy sisters dressing inappropriately for their size. Here are a few tips that every curvy/plus size woman must bear in mind.

Wear clothes that are your true size - Clothes that are too big can actually make you look larger and sloppy. Clothes that are too small will make you look uncomfortable, and trust me, no one wants to see your undergarments. Don’t force yourself into certain types of clothing.